Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Husband’s Diary

Husband’s Diary

April 5, 2026

Wife’s diary:” We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping all day with my friends. Later he was acting weird. I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late. He was silent at the restaurant too and didn’t eat much. While going to bed,

Landed Again Security

Landed Again Security

April 5, 2026

At 9 p. m. one night, a pilot who had run out of fuel made an emergency landing at a top secret government base. He was quickly surrounded by security and taken inside to be interrogated. The interrogation was grueling because they wanted to make sure it was an unplanned landing and he was not

Groom Leaned Toward

Groom Leaned Toward

April 5, 2026

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d

Weighed Pounds Paul

Weighed Pounds Paul

April 5, 2026

Paul was describing a 25 pound sea bass he’d caught recently after fighting it for three hours. Bill interrupted the story saying, “I saw the picture you took of that fish. You’re lucky if it even weighed 12 pounds. “ Paul replied, “Well … a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three

Success Relative Relatives

Success Relative Relatives

April 5, 2026

Success is relative… The more success, the more relatives! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Might Venture

Might Venture

April 5, 2026

Husband: “Now that we are married, perhaps I might venture to point out a few of your little defects. “ Wife: “Don’t bother, dear. I’m quite aware of them. It was those little defects that prevented me from becoming a much better man than you. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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