Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Hard Macy
April 5, 2026
Macy went to the doctor to see if he can help her to stop smoking . The doctor suggested that every time she felt like smoking, she should reach for a chocolate bar. It didn’t work, because no matter how hard Macy tried she couldn’t get the chocolate bar to light. This joke is included
Underway Preparation Exercise
April 5, 2026
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship underway. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind.
Duplicate Key
April 5, 2026
“What did you buy your husband for his birthday?” “Well, knowing he wanted a journal, I bought him one that was locked since he’s so particular about his notes. “ “And surely you bought something for yourself too?” “Oh, of course! I made myself a duplicate key. “ This joke is included in the Black
Sergeant Williams Report
April 5, 2026
The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me. “ The Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men, “says the Sergeant. “Williams, report to the mess hall for
Cell Phone
April 5, 2026
Husband: “Call 911 quickly, I think I’m having a heart attack!” The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!” Husband: “Never mind, I’m feeling much better now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Great Sex
April 5, 2026
There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I’m stumped. “ His buddy says, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a