Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Wow Forty
April 5, 2026
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, “Why did you do that?” … … “Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun, “the elephant said. “Wow, forty years ago!
Battery Judge Officer
April 5, 2026
A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge. Judge: “What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?” Prisoner: “My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I’m charged with battery. “ Judge: “Officer, put this guy in a dry cell. “ This joke is included in
Arms Followed
April 5, 2026
Daughter: “Mommy, where did I come from?” Mom: “Sweetheart, you came out from Mommy’s body. “ Daughter: “How exactly?” Mom: “Well, your head came out first, then your arms, followed by your legs. “ Daughter: “How did you assemble them?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Judge Ordered Taylor
April 5, 2026
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can. “ After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked
Buy Babies
April 5, 2026
Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, “Oh, how did it go?” “I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the
Lawyers Well
April 5, 2026
A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked. “What’s wrong with lawyers?” “Well, Dad, “explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a