Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

I’ll Bet

I’ll Bet

April 5, 2026

A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said “I’ll bet you don’t have anything like this in Texas. “ The Texan said: “Nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Preserving Donated Science

Preserving Donated Science

April 5, 2026

John asks: “Why are you drinking so much?” Joe says: “Because I donated my body to science, and I am preserving it until they are ready to use it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Sophisticated Word Choice

Sophisticated Word Choice

April 5, 2026

During a lesson about adjectives, an elementary school teacher asked her class to describe their mothers. One boy described his mother’s hair as auburn. Impressed by his sophisticated word choice, the teacher asked, “How do you know her hair color is auburn?” The student replied, “Because that’s what it says on the box. “ This

Blue Moses

Blue Moses

April 5, 2026

Moses and Joe are sitting in boat fishing, drinking beer and chewing tobacco when out of the blue Moses says, “I think I’m gonna divorce my wife …… she ain’t spoke to me in over a month. “Joe sips his beer and says, “Better think over, women like that are hard to find. “ This

Samantha Upon

Samantha Upon

April 5, 2026

“Mom, dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you, “said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation. “I met a guy who lives near the college that I really like and we decided we are going to get married!” “Oh Samantha! I am so happy for you!” gushed her mom

Name Engraved

Name Engraved

April 5, 2026

A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved on it?” asked the clerk. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the realistic, steadfastly replied, “No, just engrave it: ‘To My One and Only Love.’ That way, if we break

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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