Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Donkey Stop
April 5, 2026
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man, “This donkey has been trained in a very unique way. The only way to make the donkey go is to say Hallelujah, and the only way to make it stop is to say Amen. “ The man immediately got on the animal
May Sorry
April 5, 2026
“Boss, can I have a week off around Christmas?” “It’s May… “ “Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Christmas Please
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?” Mother: „No, you’ll be getting turkey, like every year!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Skirt Snip
April 5, 2026
Its pissing down and this midget goes to the doctors and says “Every time it rains my fanny gets sore”. He tells her to hop onto the examining couch. He bends over and looks up her skirt. “I see the problem, “he says. And taking a pair of scissors shoves them up her skirt. Snip
Ice Cream – Finding Young
April 5, 2026
Finding her young son scooping ice cream in the kitchen, a mother raged, “Dinner is going to be ready soon. Put that ice cream away and go and play. “ “But mum” wailed the child, “There’s no one to play with. “ “OK, “said the mother wearily, “I’ll play with you. What do you want
Standard Operations Failed
April 5, 2026
A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a