Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Ticket Please
April 5, 2026
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asked an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see”, answered an engineer. They all boarded
Sporty Wheel Drive
April 5, 2026
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles. “ “She did, “he replied. “But where in the world was I gonna find a fake SUV?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You
Shouted Slow Down
April 5, 2026
As the herd of cows were traveling, one of them was falling behind. She shouted out to the others that she could not run any faster. She shouted, “Slow down, my calves are killing me!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Ethiopian Child
April 5, 2026
A woman with a clipboard just knocked at Jack’s door. She asked him if he would have an Ethiopian child for Christmas. Jack said that he normally has a turkey but he’ll try anything once. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Chet Sang Chestnuts
April 5, 2026
Johnny wanted to get his mom something nice for Christmas but she’s hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, “Hmm, a pet might be a good idea. “He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what might be a good idea. “How about a puppy?” “No, “said Johnny. “It may
Great News
April 5, 2026
An elderly couple living in Florida had not seen their son and daughter for quite a while. The mom called the daughter living in New York and told her that mom and pop were going to get a divorce right after Christmas because they couldn’t get along after 35 years of marriage The daughter called
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a