Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Responds God
April 5, 2026
In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Alexander The Great, so the doctor told me to come here. “ The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Alexander The Great?” The second responds, “God
Steward Decided
April 5, 2026
Steward got a call today from a distorted voice saying “Five grand in cash, or we kill your wife” Both options were tempting, but Steward decided to take the money. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Hereby Fined
April 5, 2026
A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said “Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100. “ The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but perhaps you could allow him a few minutes in the crowd…
Thief Jumped
April 5, 2026
One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then
Calm Voice
April 5, 2026
Four nuns were attending a baseball game. Four men were sitting directly behind them. Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, “I think I’m going to move
Driveway Brought
April 5, 2026
Jim was in trouble, because he forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 4 seconds and it better be there!” She was serious too, so Jim got serious. The
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a