Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Treated Collapsed
April 5, 2026
Nurse: “Doctor, doctor! The man you’ve just treated collapsed on the front step! What should I do?” Doctor: “Turn him around, so it looks like he was just arriving!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Engine Which
April 5, 2026
A heart surgeon came to a mechanic to repair his car. The mechanic had a look at the car’s engine, opened a valve and fixed it. The mechanic said, “I repaired the engine which is the heart of the car. You also operate on the hearts of humans, so our jobs are quite similar. So
Newborn Baby I’ve
April 5, 2026
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ”How do you really feel? I mean, you’re 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?” ”Honestly, I feel like a newborn baby. I’ve got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself. ” This
Mean Freudian Slips
April 5, 2026
A woman walks into her psychiatrist’s office and says, “Hey Doc, you know how we have been talking about saying things that don’t come out the way we meant them to?” The psychiatrist replies, “You mean Freudian slips?” “Exactly, those. Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my
Drink Plenty
April 5, 2026
A man asks his doctor: “Do you think I’ll live to be a hundred?” The doctor asks the man “Well, that depends. Do you drink?” “Oh, no sir! I abstain from all alcohol. Soda, too. I just drink plenty of fresh water. “ “Do you smoke?” “No, sir! Never smoked in my life, and I
Excellent Shape
April 5, 2026
An old man went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health. “You’re in excellent shape for a 75-year-old man, “he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t make you any younger. “ “Who asked you to make me
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a