Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Those Pink Flamingos
April 5, 2026
A customer at the counter of a garden ornament shop said to the cashier, “Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers. “ The cashier replied, “That’ll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos, six for the
Deep Depression
April 5, 2026
A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy. “ His friend replies, “How’s that?” “It’s like this, my hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression. “ This
Rabbi Thanked
April 5, 2026
A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting in front of a church and they each had charity boxes in front of them to collect money. The church goers that were passing by couldn’t believe the nerve of the rabbi, and purposely threw large sums of money into the priest’s charity box to spite the rabbi.
Pub Talk Okay
April 5, 2026
A drunk asked a barman, “Who did you vote for in the last election?” “None of your business, “the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk politics in a pub. “ “Okay, “said the drunk. “What church do you go to?” “None of your business, “the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk about religion
Railroad Train Schedules
April 5, 2026
And how is your customer service”? Asked a skeptical customer to the used car dealer. “Oh, that’s first class. Anybody who buys a car from us gets a free copy of the latest railroad train schedules!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Mad Cow Disease
April 5, 2026
There were two cows standing in the field, one cow says to the other: “boy that mad cow disease has got me worried” the other cow says I’m not worried, I’m a penguin” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a