Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Dramatic Parts
April 5, 2026
Erica is walking out of a movie theater at the same time as a man with a parrot on his shoulder. Erica turns to the man and says, “Your parrot actually seemed to understand the movie. It looked around during the boring parts, it paid close attention to the dramatic parts, it even squawked during
Sales Clerk
April 5, 2026
“This little computer, “said the sales clerk, “will do half of your job for you. “ Studying the machine, the senior VP said, “Fine. I’ll take two. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Heads Hmph Snorted
April 5, 2026
“Look at that speed!” said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads. “Hmph!” snorted the other. “You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Swiss Bank Teller
April 5, 2026
An American enters a Swiss bank with a giant, heavy sack in each of his hands. He goes to the teller, brings his face close to the glass and whispers, “I have two million dollars with me. I urgently need to open a secret Swiss bank account!” The Swiss bank teller replies in a normal
Down Elm Street
April 5, 2026
“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. “It was awful, “she explained. “I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull
Neighborhood Down Alleys
April 5, 2026
Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said, “Your cat is rushing about like mad. ““I know, “the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements. “ This joke is included in
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a