Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Central Park

Central Park

April 5, 2026

It’s Mike’s first day on the job as a bartender. As he serves a customer a Manhattan, a piece of parsley falls into the drink. “What the hell is that?” the customer asks. “It’s your Manhattan. And there’s Central Park. “he replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order

Mongoose Types Mongeese

Mongoose Types Mongeese

April 5, 2026

A zookeeper is ordering new animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese”. That doesn’t look quite right, so he tries two mongoose, and then two mongooses. Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes.

Long Neck

Long Neck

April 5, 2026

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Mug or long neck?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

English Saddle

English Saddle

April 5, 2026

A husband and wife went to visit a ranch while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked the woman if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked him what the difference was. The cowboy told her that one had a horn and one didn’t. “Well, “she replied, “the saddle without the

Longest Staircase I’ve

Longest Staircase I’ve

April 5, 2026

Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. “This is the longest staircase I’ve ever climbed, moaned one. “It certainly is, “slurred his body. “And the banister’s so low; my back’s killing me. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Fast I’ll Throw

Fast I’ll Throw

April 5, 2026

Freddie wanted to have sex with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else… One day, Freddie got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. “ But the girl said, “NO. “ Freddie said, “I’ll be

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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