Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Bar Counter
April 5, 2026
This guy was drinking at the bar counter. Every time he took a drink he would pull something from his pocket and look at it. Eventually the curiosity of the bartender got the better of him and he asked the guy what he was looking at. The guy replied: I’ve got a picture of my
Pay Thirty Bucks
April 5, 2026
A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. “I only pay thirty bucks for my own haircut!” she said. The groomer replied, “That may be true. But then you don’t bite, do you?” This joke
Indian Objected
April 5, 2026
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. “What is it made of?” she asked. “Alligator teeth, “the Indian replied. “I suppose, “she said patronizingly, “that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us. “ “Oh no, “the Indian objected. “Anybody can open an oyster. “ This joke is
Tripped Irishman Guess
April 5, 2026
An Irishman had just walked into a bar when he tripped over and fell. He got up and said, “Guess I can call it a day. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Written Underneath
April 5, 2026
A man in a bar visited the men’s room, leaving his drink on the bar. On his return he found that someone had drunk it. The next time he left a notice beside his drink. “I spat in this”. On his return he found it written underneath “So did I”. This joke is included in
Dangerous Dog
April 5, 2026
Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, “Danger! Beware of Dog” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a