Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Maid Takes
April 5, 2026
After many years of service, a rich lady decides to fire her maid and hire someone younger. When she hears the news, the maid takes a steak out of the fridge and throws it to the family dog. “Why did you do that?” asks the lady of the house. “I will never forget a friend,
Wrong Bus
April 5, 2026
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!” The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, “Man, I’m on the wrong
Confession Bumped Faithful
April 5, 2026
A very old man went to a church, making this confession: He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an
Rotten Eggs
April 5, 2026
A man walks into the grocery store and asks to speak to the manager about buying all the rotten eggs. “What do you want with all the rotten eggs?” the manager asks. “Are you going to see the new comedian at the theater tonight?” “Sh-sh-sh!” hissed the buyer nervously. “I am the new comedian. “
Imaginary Snakes
April 5, 2026
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose. “ “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of
Credit Commended Jonathan
April 5, 2026
“Hello, “exclaimed Jonathan, as he met his friend Michael. “You’re looking a bit off color. Anything wrong?” “I’m afraid there is, “replied Michael, “I’ve had to give up drinking, smoking and gambling. “ “Well, I must say that’s all to your credit, “commended Jonathan. “Oh, no, it isn’t, “snapped Michael. “It’s due to my lack
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a