Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Emma Declares
April 5, 2026
Emma and Susan are talking. Emma declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying. “How did you manage it?” asks Susan. “I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street, “replies Emma. “I got pregnant within two months. “ “Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago, “says Susan. “It didn’t
Harry Tom
April 5, 2026
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and disappears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices he’s not breathing. “Better
Pants Down
April 5, 2026
A man calls his wife into the bedroom. “I want to show you the new watch I got today. “ She goes in and find him with his pants down. “That’s not a watch!” she says. “It will be once you put two hands and a face on it. “ This joke is included in
Saudi Prince
April 5, 2026
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Witch Bill
April 5, 2026
Bill and John, in their 80’s decided to visit the Madam for one last sexual encounter. The Madam noticed Bill and John approaching, she quickly prepared 2 blow-up dolls, placing one in each room on the bed. Bill and John told the Madam that “We are here for the last time”. The Madam sent Bill
Pass John Yelled
April 5, 2026
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of West Virginia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a