Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Tap Underneath
April 5, 2026
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: “Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?” “There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Takes Off
April 5, 2026
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a woman near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, “Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!” She
Dog Remarkable Snorts
April 5, 2026
A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times. So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork
Maybe Cousins Opposite
April 5, 2026
In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around. “ A seal says to a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate. “ A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I
Men You’d
April 5, 2026
As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son, the proud father said, “Now is a good time to talk about some of the facts of life. Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman. To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally,
Baby-Bottle Nipple Business
April 5, 2026
A fellow was going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine made a loud ‘hiss-pop! ‘ noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold, “explained the guide. “The popping sound is a needle
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a