Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Ten-Minute Nap

Ten-Minute Nap

April 5, 2026

The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn’t keep John from boasting to Fred about his sexual endurance. “Three times, “gasped Fred admiringly. “How’d you do it?” “It was easy. “John looked down modestly. “I made love to my wife, and

Waiter Persisted Isn’t

Waiter Persisted Isn’t

April 5, 2026

An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes. “ “And what would your friend have?” “Nothing, “replied the antelope. The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?” “Hey, if he were

The Pooper Scooper

The Pooper Scooper

April 5, 2026

John and his wife went to the dog park. There was an elderly lady trying to coax her resistant toy poodle to come to her. Being one that doesn’t mind helping John picked up the little critter and passed it over to her. She scowled at him and scurried off. John mentioned to his wife

Those Tiny

Those Tiny

April 5, 2026

A first-time flier was frightened and nervous. As the engines began to roar, he gripped the arms of his seat, closed his eyes, and counted to one hundred. When he opened his eyes he looked out of the windows. “See those tiny people down there, “he said to the woman sitting next to him, “don’t

Nice Serious

Nice Serious

April 5, 2026

On a recent flight from Tokyo to Hong Kong an elderly lady stands up and shouts, “Is there a doctor here?” A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her, “I am. What is the problem?” She replies, “Do you want to meet my daughter?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Lead Flight Attendant

Lead Flight Attendant

April 5, 2026

Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can be aggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with an enormous bag. The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, but the woman argued that her bag was a carry-on because it had wheels and a handle. Without blinking the attendant said,

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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