Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Loud Voice
April 5, 2026
An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said,
Buttered Bread Falls
April 5, 2026
Two blondes, Jane and Sarah, were deep in a philosophical argument. “Since you’re so damned smart, “Sarah says, “Answer this question: why is it that when a slice of buttered bread falls to the ground, it’s bound to fall on the buttered side?” Jane snorts, “It doesn’t always land on the buttered side. Here, I’ll
Artist Exclaimed
April 5, 2026
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news, “the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told
North Slope Matured
April 5, 2026
At a wine merchant’s warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunk with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink. The old drunk tried it and said,
Dorothy Goodness Gracious
April 5, 2026
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. ? I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer. “ Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my
Proper Place
April 5, 2026
A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house picking up after him. “ The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a