Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Lion Stops Dead
April 5, 2026
The circus owner tells them: I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?” The girl says, “I’ll go first. “She walks past the
Cure Prolong Laryngitis
April 5, 2026
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it. The man said, “Cure it, I want to prolong it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Government Offices
April 5, 2026
A guy goes to an interview for a job as a government accountant. The interviewer asks him, “Are you a veteran?” The guy says, “Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam. “ “Good, “says the interviewer, “that counts in your favor. Do you have any service related disabilities?” The guy says, “In
Produce Farmer
April 5, 2026
A produce farmer walks into a bar carrying a box of some of his freshly harvested vegetables and orders a beer. “Keep an eye on that farmer, “the bartender tells a waitress. “You won’t want to miss it when he starts dancing. He’s incredible. ““How will I know when he’s going to dance?” the waitress
Great Handyman
April 5, 2026
Susie: My husband is a great handyman. He can repair almost anything. Jane: My mother always taught me to beware of the man that can fix everything. You’ll never get anything new. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Cement Ate Drink
April 5, 2026
“Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?” “First of all, don’t give him anything to drink. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a