Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Lemon Grove

Lemon Grove

April 5, 2026

A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove. ‘Have you got any experience picking lemons?’ asks the foreman. ‘I certainly have,’ says the woman. ‘I’ve been married four times.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Comfortable Shoes I’ve

Comfortable Shoes I’ve

April 5, 2026

One day a man showed up at the office wearing a pair of new shoes made of turtle skin. When a co-worker asked him how he liked them, he replied thoughtfully, “Well, they’re the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn but I do have one unusual problem with them. It took me an hour and

Earlier Eggs Chicken

Earlier Eggs Chicken

April 5, 2026

Doctor: What’s wrong with your brother? Boy: He thinks he is a chicken. Doctor: really? How long has this been going on? Boy: Five years. Doctor: Five years! Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it

Fallen Arches He’s

Fallen Arches He’s

April 5, 2026

“My son had to give up his career because of fallen arches. “ “He’s an athlete?” “No—an architect. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Marvin Swore

Marvin Swore

April 5, 2026

“It’s a boy, “Marvin shouted, as tears began to roll down his cheeks. “I can’t believe it, it really is a boy. “ That’s when Marvin swore never to return to Thailand. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Sam Interjected

Sam Interjected

April 5, 2026

Sam offered to drive his mother-in-law to the doctor’s. But when he arrived at her house, Sam found her gossiping away with a neighbor. “Mom, we’ve got to go, “Sam interjected, but she couldn’t hear him over the chatter. “Mom!” Sam repeated as he pulled her away. “Sorry, but I didn’t know what to do,

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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