Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Official Act
April 5, 2026
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s
Cop Stopped
April 5, 2026
A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn. The cop asked, “Can you explain why you’re out at this hour?” “If I could, “the drunk said, “I’d be home by now!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Boxer Counting Insomnia
April 5, 2026
A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia. ‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor. ‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer. ‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Eighty Percent
April 5, 2026
Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty percent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Penalty Against England
April 5, 2026
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he’s done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, “I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was
Forehead True
April 5, 2026
A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. “I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?” “Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a