Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Jim’s Birthday
April 5, 2026
It was Jim’s birthday, and he was considered to be an “old man” by his friends’ standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim’s friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked
Fer Mah Services
April 5, 2026
A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is, little lady! Why don’t
Drunk Held
April 5, 2026
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic. “ Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But it
Worried Sick – Couple Pigeons
April 5, 2026
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. “Where were you? I was worried sick. “ “It was such a nice day, I decided to walk. “ This joke is included
Fourth Bottle
April 5, 2026
A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job… He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it. He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the
Can’t Serve
April 5, 2026
A brain walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint of beer please. “The barman looks at him and says “Sorry, I can’t serve you. “ “Why not?” askes the brain. “You’re already out of your head. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a