Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Colleague Offered

Colleague Offered

April 5, 2026

When a woman became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest, “he said. “How long have you been married?” she asked. “Ten years”, he replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Corner Degrees Cold

Corner Degrees Cold

April 5, 2026

Son: Dad, it’s so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Bright Idea Assume

Bright Idea Assume

April 5, 2026

A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: “Assume we have a can opener… “ This joke is included in the

Flag Pole

Flag Pole

April 5, 2026

A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground

Mean Student

Mean Student

April 5, 2026

Teacher : What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do you mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Ate Poisonous Mushrooms

Ate Poisonous Mushrooms

April 5, 2026

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms and died. “ “Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died. “ “Oh,

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light