Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Card Stuck Between
April 5, 2026
Walking home after a girls’ night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman’s husband phones the second
Sister Anne Washes
April 5, 2026
A bus full of nuns crashes and unfortunately they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter. He asks the first nun: “Have you ever had any contact with a penis?” The nun replies: “I poked one once. “ St Peter says: “Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven.
Exact Age
April 5, 2026
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do
Happened Johny
April 5, 2026
Johny came crying. Dad: “What happened?” Johny: “Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out. “ Dad: “That’s bad, but why you are crying?” Johny: “I knew that’s bad,
Jim Whisked Sandy
April 5, 2026
Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance. Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 years old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. “I
Million Quid
April 5, 2026
A young lad is sitting at the table doing his homework. Dad, he says, “What is the difference between ‘potentially’ & ‘realistically’“? Father scratches his chin, inhales sharply and says, “That’s a tough one; it’s probably easier to demonstrate. Go & ask your mother if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light