Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Word Contagious Johnny
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words. She asks the class to use a word in a sentence. The teacher says the word is “contagious”. Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up. The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can
Report Card Johnny
April 5, 2026
Johnny’s father: “Let me see your report card. “ Johnny: “I don’t have it. “ Johnny’s father: “Why not?” Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Bartender Smiles – Young Walks
April 5, 2026
A young man walks into a bar and orders a whisky. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of tequila. So the bartender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is served he slams it back and
Baby Brother We’ll
April 5, 2026
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of
Guidelines Illegibly Legibly
April 5, 2026
“Doctors son: “Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success. “ Doctor father: “Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
English Teacher Died
April 5, 2026
“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today. “said the boy. “Why not, son?” “Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day. “
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light