Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Novice Driver Agreed
April 5, 2026
The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm. “This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes, “the novice driver agreed. “Now when I
Upstairs Tony Answered
April 5, 2026
Tony was a pianist and was practicing late one night. There was a tap on the door, when he opened it his landlord was standing outside the door. He asked; “do you know there is a sick lady upstairs?” Tony answered, “no, I haven’t heard that song. Can you please hum it a little?” This
Parachutes Let’s
April 5, 2026
Three boy scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash. The pilot says “Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let’s give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them. “ The lawyer says, “Fuck the boy
Small Piece
April 5, 2026
At a Catholic school, there was a “meet the teacher” open house for the 2nd graders. After the meeting, a Nun announced that there would be a small reception afterwards in the cafeteria. All the children and parents filed in, and saw on a table a plate of apples, a plate of cookies, and some
Lawyer’s Tedious Arguments
April 5, 2026
A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the judge pointed to his ear and said, “Counselor, you
Census Taker
April 5, 2026
The census taker knocked on Miss Gibson’s door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. “But everybody tells their age to the census taker, “the man said. “Did Miss Mary Hill and Miss Patty Hill tell you their ages?” “Certainly. “Well, I’m the same age as they are,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light