Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Lawn Mower

Lawn Mower

April 5, 2026

A guy had the courage,but not the skills to tackle home-repair projects. His garage was littered with the pieces of a lawn mower he once tried to fix. One day his wife found him in the living room, attacking the vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. “I can’t get this thing to cooperate!” he exclaimed. His

Cats Polite Bury

Cats Polite Bury

April 5, 2026

Wife to husband: “Did you like supper?” Trying to be polite, the husband says, “Yes. “ The wife says, “I was just wondering, because when I gave some to the cats they tried to bury it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Thy Commandments I’ve

Thy Commandments I’ve

April 5, 2026

Two men were adrift in an open boat, and it looked bad for them. Finally one of them, frightened, began to pray. “O Lord, “he prayed, “I’ve broken most of thy commandments. I’ve been a hard drinker, but if my life is spared now I’ll promise never again… “ “Wait a minute, Jack, “said his

Seem Happy

Seem Happy

April 5, 2026

A foreign correspondent did a feature story in a country in the Middle East. She noted women walked five paces behind their husbands. Years later she returned to the same country in the Middle East and observed that women still walked behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the old regime, the women now seem

Kitchen Sweetheart Please

Kitchen Sweetheart Please

April 5, 2026

Two friends are in the living room. The wife of one of them is in the kitchen. “Sweetheart, please, can you hand us the bottle of whisky?” he says. And then, again, “Sweetheart, and two glasses please?” The other man stares at him and says, “My gosh, how long have you been married?” “Thirty years.

Taxi Driver – Goes Business

Taxi Driver – Goes Business

April 5, 2026

A man goes on a business trip to Manchester during the course of which he has to make a long journey by taxi. During the journey, the driver decides to break the monotony and says to the man, “Do you like riddles?” “Oh yes, “says the man, “I think so. “ “OK, “says the taxi

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light