Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Christmas Tree

Christmas Tree

April 5, 2026

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice,

Felix Essay Pen

Felix Essay Pen

April 5, 2026

A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand. “Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked. “Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet. “ This joke is included in the Black Book

Maria the Robot

Maria the Robot

April 5, 2026

Peter: “Your secretary is very sexy… “ Tony: “Thanks! It’s a robot actually, named ‘Maria’. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I’ll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions… “ Next day Peter called Tony from

Bus Conductor

Bus Conductor

April 5, 2026

“Why does your husband always call you his Fair Lady when you’re a brunet?” “He is a bus conductor”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

The Second Opinion

The Second Opinion

April 5, 2026

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment. Doctor: “Your tonsils have to come out. “ Patient: “I want a second opinion. “ Doctor: “Okay, you’re ugly, too. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Room 5421

Room 5421

April 5, 2026

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light