Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

You’d Fallen Down

You’d Fallen Down

April 5, 2026

A middle-aged woman reads that vaginas get wider and deeper with age. So she tries to check her own by stripping off, putting a mirror on the floor and spreading her legs over it. Suddenly, her husband comes in and grabs her arm, violently pulling her away from where the mirror is laying. “You could

Massive Yes

Massive Yes

April 5, 2026

A husband and wife are cooing over their new born baby. “Look at the size of his willie, “says the man. “It’s massive!” “Yes dear, “says the woman. “But at least he’s got your ears. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Ben Yes

Ben Yes

April 5, 2026

A secretary has been to London with her boss. When she returns to the office one of her colleagues asks her if the boss has shown her Big Ben. “Yes, already on the boat. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Calendar Behind

Calendar Behind

April 5, 2026

A man was giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He got a bit carried away and talked for two hours. Finally, he realized what he had done and said, “I’m sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home. “ A voice from the back of the room replied, “There’s a calendar

Answered Mike Excellent

Answered Mike Excellent

April 5, 2026

There was a gorgeous brunette at the bar Mike went to one time. He dragged up his courage, walked over to her, and in his most suave voice said, “Hey, sexy girl, can I buy you a drink?” She diverted her gaze towards him. Gorgeous blue eyes,beautiful ruby-red lips and breasts to die for. She

Fat Cow’s

Fat Cow’s

April 5, 2026

“I love you loads, honey pie. “Tom’s wife said earlier. “And I love you tons. “Tom replied. “What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed. Sometimes Tom had the impression the fat cow’s going deaf. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

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Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light