Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Those Aren’t Bags
April 5, 2026
A plastic surgeon invented a radical new face lift procedure and was explaining to a prospective patient. He told her, “I’ll install a special screw in the top of your skull. Your hair will cover it so it will be unnoticed. Whenever you need a little tuck, we’ll just tighten the screw a little,… and
Friend Lend Jimmy
April 5, 2026
Jimmy said to his friend, ‘can you lend me $100?’ ‘But I only have $50,’ his friend replied. That’s OK, you can always owe me the other $50! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Satan Yells
April 5, 2026
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says “no, let me see the next room. “ In the second room,
Awkward Situation
April 5, 2026
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. “See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!” “So it’s the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another
Car Door
April 5, 2026
An Englishman, an Irish man, and a Scottish man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, “We will give you one thing before you die. “ The Englishman says “water”, the Scotch man says “whiskey”, the Irish man says “a car door”. The Germans say, “Why do you want
Jewish Hooker
April 5, 2026
A gent is sitting alone at the bar in Caesars Palace. A Jewish hooker comes over to him and asks him if he would like some company. “How much, honey?” “$800. “ “800???” “Are you crazy? Every other woman that came over wanted $400!” The Jewish hooker thought about it for a second and then
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light