Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Chopped Meat Stuffs
April 5, 2026
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “One burger!” Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.
International Message Center
April 5, 2026
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $200, she exclaims, “I don’t have that kind of money, but I’ll do anything to get a message to my mother. “ He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back
Bartender Obliged
April 5, 2026
An armless man walked into a bar which was empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip
Curb Cars Cop
April 5, 2026
A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, “Can I park here?” “No, “says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Ma’am Explained
April 5, 2026
A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?” “No, ma’am, “explained the officer, “it’s your foot. “ This joke
Portable Keyboard Along
April 5, 2026
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better. “ One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a