Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Lies Down
April 5, 2026
An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, “Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change. “ This joke
Divorce Court Judge
April 5, 2026
A divorce court judge said to the husband, “Mr Gregory,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I’ve decided to give your wife $800 a week. “ “That’s very fair,your honor, “he replied. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself. “ This joke is included in the Black
Bob Smells
April 5, 2026
Two brothers, Bob and George, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells George that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, George blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob
Iceberg Lettuce Examines
April 5, 2026
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, there’s a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom. “ The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, “Is it serious, doctor?” The doctor replies, “I’m sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Tougher Batman
April 5, 2026
When the bar was about to get closed, a very drunk guy got up to go home. He stumbles and falls a couple of times and finally manages to get out of the door. As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the
Free Medical Advice
April 5, 2026
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a