Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Spaceman Landed
April 5, 2026
A spaceman landed on the moon. To his surprise he saw a little shop ahead of him, with the name above it: “Isaac Cohen, BESPOKE TAILORS. “ Curious, he went into the shop. A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. “Who are you?” he asked. “I’m a spaceman, “replied the spaceman. The man closed
Skydiver Yells Hey
April 5, 2026
A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the ripcord to open his parachute but nothing happens. He tries everything but can’t get it open. Just then another man flies by him, going up. The skydiver yells, “Hey, you know anything about parachutes? The man replies, “No, you know anything about gas
Navy Captain Change
April 5, 2026
Through the pitch-black night, the captain of a vessel sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course ten degrees east. “ The light signals back: “Change yours, ten degrees west. “ Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!” “I’m
Brothers Though
April 5, 2026
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a pint goes
Met Joey
April 5, 2026
Joey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, “he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Just put yourself in my hands for two
Lift Sister Stop
April 5, 2026
“Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift. “ “Tell her to come in. “ “I cannot” “Why so?” “Because she does not stop at this floor. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a