Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Relief Everybody Else
April 5, 2026
“Young man, “said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. “It’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present sorry state!” “I’m glad to hear you say that, “replied Jack, with a sigh of relief. “Everybody else says it’s all my fault!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Soldier Added
April 5, 2026
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later. “ The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way. “ After the MPs ran off,
Jar Which
April 5, 2026
A 75-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. “ The next day the 75-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar,
Tailor Measured Abraham
April 5, 2026
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This
Ooooh Wow Bob
April 5, 2026
One day Dan asks Bob, “So Bob what did you get for Christmas?” Then Bob says to Dan, “Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?” Dan says, “OOOOH WOW! Bob says, “Ya, I got the same exact color tie!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Edge Off
April 5, 2026
A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar. The bartender says “What will it be?” The sandpaper goes “Just something to take the edge off” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a