Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Impregnated Answers Johnny
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. The mayor sees him and asks, “Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?” “I’m taking her to the bulls so she would get impregnated, “answers Johnny. The mayor is shocked, “Surely your father had better be doing that?” Little Johnny thinks about it for
Chicken Sandwich
April 5, 2026
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket. “ He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch. “ This joke is included in
Feet Ain’t Empty
April 5, 2026
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face. “ “Yes, sir, “the boys said. “Then why is it that
Himself Zipped
April 5, 2026
Three men were using the urinals in a public restroom in DC. The first man finished relieving himself, zipped up, strolled to the sinks and proceeded to wash his hands, using plenty of soap and water and doing a splendidly thorough job. As he was drying his hands (with lots of paper towels), he loftily
Move Fourteen Cars
April 5, 2026
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. “ Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the two hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class. “
Salmon Entr
April 5, 2026
After browsing the restaurant menu, Melvin had a question for the waitress. “About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a filet?” “Neither, “the waitress said “It’s a fish. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a