Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Happiest Lying World
April 5, 2026
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world. “ The woman says, “I’ll miss you. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Large Break
April 5, 2026
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down. “ Husband says: “It looks like he’s
Mathematical Help
April 5, 2026
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. “If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?” he asked her. The secretary replied, “Everything but my earrings. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes.
Seasick Pills
April 5, 2026
Mr. Johnson’s wife of 50 years suggested they take a cruise: “We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did when we were young. “ He thought it over and agreed. He went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant. Upon returning
Adequate Sample Size
April 5, 2026
Three professors, a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, “I know what to do! We
Waiter Rare
April 5, 2026
Waiter: “How do you like your steak, sir?” Sir: “Like winning an argument with my wife. “ Waiter: “Rare it is. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a