Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Teacher’s Butt
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny’s first day at his new school his father called the teacher
Shampoo Bottle Wet
April 5, 2026
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure
Friend I’d
April 5, 2026
A woman was suspicious of the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. “My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?” “I’d say you’re a lesbian!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it
Hedgehogs Hitler
April 5, 2026
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them “Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs. “ Then one of his generals stands and says “But… Mein fuhrer why four hedgehogs?” Hitler then smiles and says “See? No one gives a f*ck about the
Eleven-Year-Old Students
April 5, 2026
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, “George, why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love, “the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?” “With you, “he said. “But George, “she said gently,
Elbow Push Button
April 5, 2026
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. “You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I buzz you in. Come inside and elevator
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a