Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Wouldn’t Believe
April 5, 2026
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, “You wouldn’t believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said ‘Take whatever you want! ‘ … So I took the bike” The second guy says, “Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have
Flea Arrived Again
April 5, 2026
One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin’ and a shakin’. The first flea asked,
Nightmare Last
April 5, 2026
Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night: PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible. PC2: Why, what did you dream about ? PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up! This joke
Fairy Picked
April 5, 2026
Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof – the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next,
Officer Types
April 5, 2026
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armory?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Rock Paper Scissors
April 5, 2026
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggests playing rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. “Stop all this nonsense. Let’s just flip the stool over. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a