Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Jersey Cow
April 5, 2026
“Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!” “Was it a Jersey cow?” “I don’t know, I didn’t see her license plate!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Cat’s Collar
April 5, 2026
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her
Which Gender
April 5, 2026
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: “What are you doing dear?” Husband: “Swatting flies – I got three males and two females” Wife: “How on earth do you know which gender they were?” Husband: “Easy – three were on the beer, and the
Exact Change Helps
April 5, 2026
A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little too much and growls at him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an
Saysquack Quack Mummy
April 5, 2026
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says “What does a duck say Tommy?” He says”Quack quack Mummy. “ His Mum says “Very good Tommy,that’s right. “ She says “What does a dog say?” He says “Woof
Parrot Pulled Away
April 5, 2026
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a