Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Plumber Arrived Unpacked
April 5, 2026
A pipe burst in a lawyer’s house, so he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $150. The lawyer exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a lawyer!” The plumber replied sympathetically, “Neither did I
Dang Blanket
April 5, 2026
A priest and a nun are caught in a severe snowstorm. They find a deserted cabin and take shelter from the blizzard. They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself. As they get tucked
Name Begins
April 5, 2026
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little
Cathy Attorney
April 5, 2026
Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? Witness: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ Attorney: And why did that upset you? Witness: My name is Susan. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Dna Test Results
April 5, 2026
After 10 years, a mother can no longer deny that her child does not look like her or her husband, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents. Wife: “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you. “ Husband: “What’s up?” Wife:
Power Socket
April 5, 2026
A kid was a very good painter. Once a neighbor broke her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real. She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid. The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a