Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Psychiatrist Suggests
April 5, 2026
A poodle and a collie are walking down the street when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess, “he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend’s having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat. “ “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist, “suggests the
Day’s Christmas Dinner
April 5, 2026
A little girl is in the kitchen watching her mother prepare for the following day’s Christmas dinner. She asks, “Mommy, can I please have a cat for Christmas?” Her mommy replies, “No honey, you’ll have turkey just like the rest of us. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Throws Sand
April 5, 2026
Two men were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into the lion’s eyes and then runs. The second man stays, unmoved. The first man looks back and shouts, “Why are you not running?” The second man replies, “Why should I be running? You’re the one who
Solomon-Like Wisdom Decreed
April 5, 2026
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble that they were having in the apartment building where they all lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, “Okay, I’m ready to hear the evidence… I’ll hear the oldest first. “ The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. This joke is
Judge Speaks
April 5, 2026
The drunk defendant appears yet again before the tired judge. They both look at each other. The judge speaks first, “You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years. “ The defendant interrupts the judge, “Can I help you if you can’t get promoted?” This joke is included in the Black Book
Judge Alimony Madwoman
April 5, 2026
Standing before the judge during an alimony hearing, the man said, “As God is my judge, I do not owe that madwoman money!” The judge calmly replied, “He isn’t. I am. You do. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a