Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
O’clock Sharp – Father Going
April 5, 2026
A father, as he was going home, saw his daughter on the porch, kissing a guy goodnight. Disturbed, he turned to the guy. “In our home, young man, we turn off the light at 11 o’clock, sharp!” “Oh, Thank you so much Sir! That’s so convenient! Thanks!” This joke is included in the Black Book
Mommy Substitutes
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny’s teacher was asking all the kids in the class what their parents did for a living. Little Mary got up and said, “my dad is a pilot, and my mommy is an architect. “ “Great, “said the teacher. Michael got up and said, “my dad is a doctor, and my mom is a
Whole Town
April 5, 2026
A boy called up his mom from the hospital, “Mom, I took tests and they declared that I have AIDS. “ Mom, “What? Don’t come back home son, go away. “ Boy “Why mom, I’m your son. “ Mom, “You foolish boy! If you come back home, then your wife will be infected, from your
Water Hazard
April 5, 2026
Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing. The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out,
Stay Afloat
April 5, 2026
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly loses engine power and the aircraft begins to descend. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to
Nice Perfume Which
April 5, 2026
On a flight, a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him. “Nice perfume…. which brand is it? I want to buy a gift for my wife. “ Lady replies, “Don’t give it to her, some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her!” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a