Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
John Woke
April 5, 2026
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. “Louise, “he moaned, “tell me what happened last night.
Barber Proceeds
April 5, 2026
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing, “says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum. “
Tattoo Merry Christmas
April 5, 2026
It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. “What is that?” he asked. She said, “I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of
Contest Levels Bursts
April 5, 2026
There’s a blonde. She enters a laughing contest. There’s 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter. The host asks her “Why did you laugh, you could have won. “ The blonde replies, “I finally got the first joke. “ This joke is included in the Black Book
Dad’s Lap
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny: Mom, I was on the bus yesterday with dad and he asked me to give up my seat for a lady. Mom: Good, you did the right thing. Little Johnny: But Mom, I was sitting on dad’s lap. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Tastes Funny Waiter
April 5, 2026
Customer: “Waiter, this soup tastes funny. “ Waiter: “Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a