Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
Browse Categories
View All Categories-
(181)
-
(1)
-
(69)
-
(356)
-
(748)
-
(1)
-
(95)
-
(836)
-
(1)
-
(15)
Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Confused Bill
April 5, 2026
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the
Hey Lady
April 5, 2026
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly. “ Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the
Jumper Cables Wrapped
April 5, 2026
This man walks into the bar with jumper cables wrapped around his neck. The bartender says, “Sir, I’ll serve you, as long as you don’t start anything!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Cow Farm
April 5, 2026
Farm Boy: My pop can’t decide whether to get a new cow or tractor for his farm. City Boy: He’d certainly look silly riding around on a cow. Farm Boy: Yeah, but he would look a lot sillier milking a tractor! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it
Seaman Notes
April 5, 2026
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies “I was swept overboard into
Dollars Jim
April 5, 2026
One evening Jim was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked Jim for two dollars. Jim asked him, “Will you buy booze?” The bum replied, “No. “ Then Jim asked, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum said, “No. “ After giving the bum the
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a