Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Seat Bolts Lucy
April 5, 2026
Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower,
Omg Nobody
April 5, 2026
Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?” Brunette: “I don’t know. “ Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Twins Pregnant Crying
April 5, 2026
A blonde goes to the doctor’s and finds out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!” This joke is included in the Black
Brunette Which Part
April 5, 2026
Brunette: “Where were you born?” Blonde: “Australia. “ Brunette: “Which part?” Blonde: “My whole body. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Chickens Prepare Waitress
April 5, 2026
“May I take your order?” the blonde waitress asked. “Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?” “Nothing special sir, “she replied, “we just tell them straight out that they’re going to die. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Firetruck Duh
April 5, 2026
A blonde’s neighbor’s house was on fire so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, “My neighbor’s house is on fire!” The operator asked, “Where are you?” The blonde answered, “At my house. “ The operator replied, “No, I’m asking how do we get there?” The blonde said, “In a firetruck, duh! This joke
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a