Jokes Ltd 
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman’s head. “Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper. “ “What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
During camouflage training a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. “You simpleton!” the officer barked. “Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?” “Yes sir, “the soldier answered apologetically. … Read more
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, “How odd. Scottish sheep are black. “ “No, no, no!” says the physicist. “Only some Scottish sheep are black. “ The mathematician rolls his eyes … Read more
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, “What’s happening?” The runner replied breathlessly, “A lion has escaped from the zoo. “ “Oh my, which way is it heading?” “Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do … Read more
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine. “ His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair … Read more
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under “Number of children, “she wrote “10, “and where it said “List names of children, “she wrote “Leroy. “ When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: “Now here, where it says “List names of children, “you’re supposed to … Read more
While standing in front of the gorilla’s cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that … Read more
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got run over by the traffic and the cars were sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. … Read more
“This guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale. “ He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Yep, “the mutt replies. “So, what’s your … Read more
A noble goes hunting with his servant. They haven’t gotten far from the house when the noble realizes that the ground is muddy and ruining his shoes. The noble tells the servant: “I’m going to wait here, run back to the house and bring me my riding boots”. The servant, seizing the moment, runs into … Read more