Jokes Ltd An elderly woman was brought to the emergency room with a fractured hip. The ER doctor knew that surgery would be in order for the patient. “Have you ever undergone surgery?” he asked. “Yes, “the woman said. “Remember what type of surgery it was?” “I’m not sure, “the old lady said. “It was a long … Read more
An inebriated man and his drunken friend were sitting at a bar. “Do you know what time it is?” Asked the drunk. “Sure, “said the man “Thanks, “said the drunk. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was too cold, this went on for about a half an hour. To the … Read more
A doctor got a phone call from one of his colleagues. “We need a fourth for poker, “the voice on the phone said. “I’ll be right over, “replied the doctor. As he was putting on his overcoat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “Oh yes, quite serious, “he said gravely. “In fact, there are three … Read more
A married couple were vacationing in Hawaii and disagreed on the correct pronunciation of the state name. He said it was Hawaii and his wife said it was Havaii. They stopped a man on the street to ask his opinion. He said the correct pronunciation was Havaii. The man’s wife was delighted and thanked the … Read more
A man went camping in a state park. Before leaving his car to go hiking he left a note on the dashboard saying, “The stereo is broken. “ He did this to deter thieves from breaking into his older model car. When returning from his hike the man noticed his car window was broken and … Read more
An American visiting England asked at the hotel for the elevator. The porter looked a bit confused but smiled when he realized what the man wanted. “You must mean the lift, “he said. “No, “the American responded. “If I ask for the elevator I mean the elevator. “ “Well, “the porter answered, “over here we … Read more
A man finds a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie emerges. The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The man thinks for a moment and says, “First, give me a bottomless mug of beer. “ A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the … Read more
“Can I have a cigarette?” Jill asked. “I thought you quit smoking, “Mary said “I’m in the process of quitting, “Jill said. “Right now I am in the middle of phase one. “ “What’s phase one?” Mary asked. “I’ve quit buying, “Jill replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Irish Saw mill Accident… Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local saw mill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to … Read more