Jokes Ltd

Albert Hall

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A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex. ‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman. The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Sheep’s Mouth Raised

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the sheep’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a … Read more

Confused Bill

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Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the … Read more

Hey Lady

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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly. “ Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the … Read more

Jumper Cables Wrapped

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This man walks into the bar with jumper cables wrapped around his neck. The bartender says, “Sir, I’ll serve you, as long as you don’t start anything!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Cow Farm

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Farm Boy: My pop can’t decide whether to get a new cow or tractor for his farm. City Boy: He’d certainly look silly riding around on a cow. Farm Boy: Yeah, but he would look a lot sillier milking a tractor! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more

Seaman Notes

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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies “I was swept overboard into … Read more

Dollars Jim

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One evening Jim was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked Jim for two dollars. Jim asked him, “Will you buy booze?” The bum replied, “No. “ Then Jim asked, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum said, “No. “ After giving the bum the … Read more

Bar Counter

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This guy was drinking at the bar counter. Every time he took a drink he would pull something from his pocket and look at it. Eventually the curiosity of the bartender got the better of him and he asked the guy what he was looking at. The guy replied: I’ve got a picture of my … Read more