Jokes Ltd A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashed through the front door at 3 am and woke her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, “What are you doing?” she shouted. The husband replied “I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs” “Leave it down there” … Read more
A young couple lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. Visiting the pet store, the young wife asked for a good guard dog. “Sorry, we’re all sold out, “the clerk replied. “All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But … Read more
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?” The other replies, “Yes,why?… “ “I just bit my lip. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man. “ “How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. “I only pay thirty bucks for my own haircut!” she said. The groomer replied, “That may be true. But then you don’t bite, do you?” This joke … Read more
An Irishman had just walked into a bar when he tripped over and fell. He got up and said, “Guess I can call it a day. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, “Danger! Beware of Dog” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him, … Read more
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 5:25 train. “ The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 5:10 one. “ This joke … Read more
A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he’s sitting down, he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, “I’ll have another waterloo. “ The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Thinking the other man’s drink may be a specialty … Read more
A ham and cheese sandwich walks into the bar and asks for a drink. Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.