A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl’s life. The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the … Read more
A guy gets a parrot but it’s got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird’s attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming … Read more
A guy walks into a bar with his dog. He takes a seat and says, “I can bet 50 bucks to each of you that my dog can talk!” Everybody around agrees to the bet. The guy says, “Charlie, speak!” The dog is silent. “Charlie, speak, “the guy repeats. The noble dog still doesn’t react. … Read more
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. “Bartender, a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please” The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief, says “Did. . did you just talk?!” “Yes I have, why?” Said the dog “It’s just incredible! I’ve never seen a talking dog! You know, you should … Read more
A parrot was in a cage in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg. A man walked in looking to buy a pet, so the shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the … Read more
A boy went into a whore house and said he wanted an AIDS’s infected prostitute. The woman at reception said “Room 12 top of the hall. “ He went to the room and did his business. When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her to be AIDS infected. The boy answered, “When … Read more
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen. “ “Nah, he’s not so smart, “the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three … Read more
A man, an ostrich and a cat enter a bar and sit down at the bar. The bartender looks at the man and says, “What’ll ya have?” The man says, “Gimme a beer. “ The ostrich says, “I’ll have one too. “ The cat says, “I want two beers, but I’m only gonna pay half … Read more
In Noah’s ark, on the third day the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get … Read more
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up … Read more