Two friends decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven’t bagged any. One hunter looks at the other and says, “I just don’t understand it, why aren’t we getting any ducks?” His friend says, “I keep telling you, I just don’t … Read more
Two church-going women were gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse fully on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, “That’s disgusting, why did you do that?” To … Read more
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine’s Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad’s lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I really do need to take a … Read more
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it. … Read more
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog. “ “Oh man, “the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on … Read more
The King and Queen decided to get pets, and for this reason the King issued a decree: “Handsome reward for finest Royal pets. “ The Queen immediately falls in love with a white, kitten with long hair bred in a faraway land. Some time after payment, the kitten disappears and the distraught Queen sends the … Read more
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broadsided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, “How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that … Read more
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and asks, “If I guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?” The farmer nodded. She continued. “127” The farmer is surprised. “How … Read more
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. “Alright, what can you do?”, the manager asks. “I can do great bird impressions”, the man replies. “Pssh, a lot of people can do that”. “Oh well”, the man says and flies away. This joke is … Read more
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, “I think they could be bird tracks. “ The second blonde went to look and said, “No, I think these are deer tracks. “ They stepped aside and the third … Read more